When you go through fertility treatments, you lose the element of surprise because you and your partner are both very aware of what’s going on and the two-week wait. “Well did it work this time?” No, it did not. None of our fertility treatments to date resulted in a pregnancy.
On all our natural cycles, I fantasized about how I would tell Zak if I got pregnant. I had so many ideas based on the month, season, or holiday. So when I got pregnant unexpectedly on a cancelled egg retrieval cycle, I immediately thought “YES! I get to surprise Zak!” And coming up with the perfect idea and putting it all together meant Zak didn’t find out I was pregnant until a week after I knew (and after my BFFs knew, and after my mom knew, LOL).
Of course BFF #2 knew first since she was available the day I found out. I surprised BFF #1 the next day. I made plans with her to meet for lunch. On my way to her office, I stopped for Starbucks to get her an iced coffee. I brought some colored Sharpie markers with me and decorated her cup to say “Auntie Mel.” She didn’t notice it right away when I handed it to her, but when she realized what it said and it clicked, “You’re pregnant?!” the moment was pretty awesome. First surprise was a total success.
I told my mom via an early Mother’s Day/birthday gift. I bought a goofy second-hand sweater she and I saw together at a vintage fair a few months before. In the card I included with it, I wrote the sweater looks like something a grandma would wear, which is perfect since she was going to be one. She read the card out loud, paused after reading that, leaned back and squinted to make sure she read it right, then exclaimed, “You’re pregnant?!” To which I responded by crying and saying yes. I’ll never forget sharing the news with her, partly because I filmed it, but also because it was such a great feeling.
Zak once sent me on a scavenger hunt that turned out to be a fail of epic proportions. I teased him later about it, saying I was going to send him on one someday and show him how a scavenger hunt should be. So that’s how I decided to tell him. I made clues to send him all over our property and put them in Easter eggs (I know it was May, but hey, the baby was conceived on Easter, so...). The hunt ended in our bedroom where I secretly set up to record the final prize, an Easter basket with a small portable safe and a special onesie hiding under the grass. The code to the safe was 1918 (1/9/2018, baby’s due date) and it was written on my belly as an homage to part of his fail-hunt. When he opened it, he found a progression of pregnancy tests, and fir the third time, I heard, “You’re pregnant?!” And after the shock, a big hug.
I am so thankful for these memories and they still make me happy even though JB died a couple weeks later. He gave me the gift of getting to surprise my favorite people with amazing news.